


A Fable Of Forgiveness

by Cozy_coffee



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Community: comment_fic, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Sam Winchester, Sam-Centric, Season/Series 01, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 07:39:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9983219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cozy_coffee/pseuds/Cozy_coffee
Summary: A fill for the comment_fic prompt; any fandom - any character - Missing you comes in waves, tonight I'm drowning





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Prisca](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prisca/gifts).



It has been seven days since the fire…since they left Stanford behind in a blaze of heat when Dean pulled Sam out of the burning inferno that consumed Jessica and burned her on the ceiling. The haunting sorrow swells in Sam’s chest, a thicker dread that drills into his ribcage and breaks open his heart. So much sadness and darkness linger in the days following, no sign of sunlight in sight. 

Sam throws his mind into hunting in a desperate attempt to keep haunting memories at bay, but when he lays down for the evening, the nightmares return to torment him. He awoke with a startled gasp, hazel eyes wide and frantic, cheeks flushed and chest tight with fear. A flash of Jessica mirrors in his mind, heat scorching her pale, smooth skin as she was ravaged by the flames. 

Sam grimace as her memory plays in his mind. Jessica, gorgeous and smiling, mere inches from his touch. She reaches out to touch his cheek and he gasps when he swears he feels her touch. Another night, another nightmare of his loved one dying in front of his eyes and he was powerless to stop it. 

Sam sniffles, choking back a soft sob. He rolled over in bed and buried his face in the pillow and pulled the sheets up over him, burrowing into the warmth. He wiggled around in the covers, trying to find a comfortable spot, but it was a lost cause. His heart aches miserably. He fought not to cry, yet a small, broken sob slipped past his lips. 

His brother had been woken by his cries, Dean brushes a hand through Sam’s shaggy hair as he sits up in bed. “Sammy?” That warm and loving familiar voice wrapped around Sam like a security blanket and he felt the small touch of calm wash over him as a tender hand brushed through his hair, fingers gentle as they combed his long locks. Dean asks quietly in the softness of the room, “Sammy? Hey, are you okay?” 

Normally, Sam would say he was fine because he didn’t want to worry his big brother, but he couldn’t do it now. He needed Dean to reassure him that everything would be alright, he needed just a tiny slice of comfort, if only for a little while. 

Sam rolled over and reached out to Dean, taking his hand, his gaze blurred with tears. “Can...Can you just hold me for a little while?” His cheeks flushed with embarrassment, for goodness sakes he was a grown man, not a little boy, but he needed his big brother so much right now. 

Dean smiled kindly, eyes aglow with love and compassion. He slide closer to his little brother, wrapping his arm around him gently. Sam curled up close to him and laid his head on his chest. Dean’s arms tighten a little bit around Sam as he places a gentle kiss to Sam’s forehead as he whispered soothing promise to him. Everything would be alright, in time, things would not be so bad. 

Closing his eyes, Sam breathes in a deep breath. He was still shaken from the nightmare, but soon his worries slipped away as Dean’s comforting words washed over him. After all, big brother knows best. He snuggled close to Dean and let the steady, rhythmic beating of Dean’s heart lull him into a peaceful sleep.

Little by little, day by day, Sam tries to keep calm and carry on. He made a promise to himself that he, and Dean, would find Dad and Jessica’s killer and he would find a way out of the darkness that has become his life. It’s not an easy task to pick up the broken shards of his life and move on, yet he tries. 

Some days are good. Others are bad. There are days filled with sunshine and days soaked with rain. Some mornings are perfectly perfect in every way, not an ounce of sorrow vibrates through Sam’s heart. He has hope in his heart and happiness smooths against his skin as he rides shotgun with his brother. 

He keeps his mind away from the darkness lurking in the shadows, he finds comfort in saving people and hunting things, the family business, doing some good in such a terrible world. The sun shines a little brighter and feels warmer against his dimpled cheeks, and the birds sing sweeter while the grass vibrates in shimmers of lush green. 

Dean’s laughter makes him giggle and grin while the rabbit food he munches on tastes sweeter than any sugary junk-food snack. They hunt, they laugh; life is peaceful and pleasant for a little while. Sam breathes in deeply and lets the sensation of harmonizing grace wash over him.

Other days are much darker. Most heart breaking. He hasn’t slept through the night in days, only catching two, maybe three hours, if he is lucky. Lack of appetite fuels his sluggishness while physical and mental exhaustion leaves him restless; he cannot calm his racing mind nor his frantically beating heart. His mood is foul, irritability claws at his gut and makes him see only the bad in the world. 

Dean’s childish jokes aid in irritating him more. His teeth grind, he clenches his fists vice tight as his whole body tenses. All thoughts of Jessica splitter his already breaking heart. 

When he was younger, a cute little chubby-cheeked boy, and he was upset, Dean would hoist him up onto his lap and rock gently, calming him; Now, Sam cannot bear to be touched when the sorrow churns in the pit of his belly. 

When he feels run down and drained of even the energy it takes to draw in a deep breath, the tears cloud his gaze. Then the dark thoughts creep in. That bottle of pills in the cabinet sings kindly to him, promising that he will sleep forever and ever and never feel any more pain. 

The rope they keep in the trunk fools him into believing it would feel comforting around his throat, constricting to take away his last breath. The gun beside his bed looks welcoming, like an old friend opening their arms to him and smiling, offering him with one final hug that would take away his pain forever. 

Depression is a thief; it robs him of his smile and happiness. His reason for living. 

But the human soul is stronger than any stone and even when it has been kicked and stabbed and beaten down, it will not break. Some part inside of Sam says ‘just make it through the next minute, hour, the next day. Just keep grinding, keep pushing through, and if all you accomplish is making it through the day to live for tomorrow, then you did damn good, son. You survived to fight one more day.’

Eventually, the darkness fades and the light creep back in. Sam finds the strength in his heart to push away the bad thoughts and let the giggles and grins back in. He doesn’t pull away from the hug Dean wraps him in, but instead, lays his head on his brother's shoulder and smiles to himself because even at times when all he saw was darkness, he kept fighting, knowing that if he could claw his way out of the sorrowful darkness, a beautiful joyful sunrise would be there to welcome him and warm his heart. 

♥ END ♥

**Author's Note:**

> [Written for this prompt!](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/796606.html?thread=102394558#t102394558)


End file.
